behind that smile of yours
one (short) shot; pg; heeteuk; angst; (disclaimer) not mine
No one knew what's behind Park Jungsu, or also known as Super Junior's Leeteuk's smile. Only his dongsaeng by 9 days knew.
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You, Park Jungsu, or also known as Super Junior's Leeteuk, is an angel. A special angel that suffered the most out of Super Junior. An angel that protects us, Super Junior. No one knew what's behind your smile. Even I was fooled by your appearance.
You smiled and laughed your infamous laughter which cracked up every E.L.F out there and our members, even Kibum, the moody man who doesn't laugh much. You never fail to make anyone laugh. You were always there for the other Super Juniors, comforting and protecting them. Back in 2007, when Kyuhyun had resumed for the Don't Don promotions and activities soon after his discharge, he would sometimes say he's tired. Whenever you heard him say he's tired, you would attend to him and give him your attention even though your pale-looking face told that you were even tired than him. When Henry played the violin live for Don't Don, we sometimes heard E.L.Fs shout; "Only 13! Only 13!" After the performance ended, we would sometimes find him crying and you would be there, beside Henry and be a listening ear. I once heard that he said; "It's okay, I'm used to pain." and I would find you crying beside him and telling him that you will protect him no matter what. Ever since that, if you saw him you would embrace him and give him the royal treatment even if he refused to.
Now, with our never ending schedule, we barely had 3 hours of sleep. You will always wake up earlier than us to prepare for the next morning, to wake us up even though you, yourself, need more rest than us. Sometimes, I saw you sleep while waiting for the car even if it's for 5 minutes. To protect you, I stared at you with my eyes wide open to protect you and help you if you would fall while sleeping. Back in the trainee days, since you were the oldest hyung, you would have to take care my cold personality plus the other crazy and hyper dongsaengs. Yet, you will still just smile and tolerate them despite you feeling tired of the behaviour. Me looking out for you if you would fall is only 1% of what you did to protect and take care of me. Outside, you would smile, laugh and act like you're the happy-go-lucky type. Even I thought you were naturally like that. But I was wrong once I saw you crying secretly inside your room. It was then I realized that inside your heart, there's a dark world where happiness does not exist.
It's a world of depressed people. It's a world where actually nobody smile or laugh, just stay emotionless or cry. And you were one of them. I wish I could share some of the burden and pain you felt. I wish I can be the oldest hyung instead of you, just because of the pain. I wish I borned in the same date as you were born. I knew, all the pain you felt was too much for your small and weak heart. Yet, you kept it all inside your heart and act as if nothing happened that painfully hurt your heart. Just for us, Super Junior, you would sacrifice and would do anything just for the sake of Super Junior. There, I saw you crying again quietly. The muffled sounds of you weeping and the sounds of you sniffling and unmistakable.
"Yah, Kim Heechul, if you tell anyone about me crying, you'll get it," he snapped me out of my thoughts.
I let out a soft chuckle. "Of course, I'm secretive unlike KangIn."
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The End. Hope you guys enjoy! Advices and critics are welcomed!
- Behind that Smile of Yours
artistic
2009-12-08 02:55 pm (UTC)
Which is why I'm glad Heechul is there to look out for him ♥ I've always felt like the relationship between the two eldest is really special. I won't be surprised if Chullie really feels all the things like in this fic.
I let out a soft chuckle. "Of course, I'm secretive unlike KangIn." This is so Heechul,and it made me swoon because, Heenim surely is the only who would try to cheer Teuk up like that.
Thanks for sharing~ The angst broke my heart, but it also made my day!
2009-12-08 05:45 pm (UTC)
2012-05-25 08:25 pm (UTC)
I hope you will still be active hear and read this comment.
It was the best fanfiction I ever read.
Im not an elf, or at least I try not to be.
To be honest I was so long atractet to japanese music and wa skinda a too stupid to admit that I actually also liked SuJu but, I don't want talk about me >_<
I just wanted you to know that your fafiction wa sjust awesome, because it was so pure and it could be true, it was not to much of romantik and still enough for the aww efect. Just this kinda of fanfiction that I was looking for.
And never found ( also in my old fanbase not)
So Thank you for sharing ♥
2009-12-09 02:03 pm (UTC)
i like to think the others are looking out for leeteuk as well even though he's the oldest~ XD
i believe each one of us has a dark world. it's just a matter of finding a way to deal with it that matters a lot.
i'm glad heechul is looking out for him <3
lovely work~
2009-12-10 06:43 am (UTC)
2009-12-11 06:59 am (UTC)
2009-12-11 07:03 am (UTC)
2010-01-22 11:26 am (UTC)